"Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing." 

Does pride come into play when you put your whole body on the line, just for the team? 
Or maybe not the team, maybe yourself.
Will ego sustain your blood lust?
Will conceitedness with your skills, prove that you're game to triumph the leaders? 

Being aware of yourself, how you carry yourself, being humble and respectful will garner you more accomplishments.

No doubt, winning will always be the finishing line.
But when it comes to a point where backstabbing starts to happen, winning won't be the finishing line.
The finishing line will be the moment when you get the brunt of all the malice you've done.
And that's when you know you're truly finished.

The journey to the line, is never ending.
It's arduous, perilous and at times, superficial.
But the will to carry on is a strong tool, despite the weakening physical condition of a champion.
The mind, my friend, is a very great replica for the gods to charm.
It takes massive mental power to over-ride a catastrophe, but even more than that to tide things over and take things in your stride.

"What good does a man face when all has turned their backs against him?"

This goes to show that to win, you need aid.
And in the form of aid, support - mentally and physically.
And that comes via friends/families/loved ones.
Winning isn't based on commitment.
Commitment is for the foolish, for the weak, who doesn't have a choice.
But yet again, commitment is key to strengthening ties, bonds between team-mates. 
Commitment shows that you have the momentum that the team provides and proves that you can keep up with it.
For, the law of nature states, "Only the strongest survives."
Keep up with the momentum, or die down like the rest of them.
And that's where commitment comes into play.

Keeping up with the team, is too, essential to ensure team-spirit within themselves.
How else can you ascertain factors of change within the team and suiting it to yourself? 
The lead goose of the formation, always starts the flight first.
And then when it gets tired, another one will step up and thus continue the carriage of motion towards their intended destination.

Leaders are human too.
They will get tired sometimes.
But nonetheless, they should have the full support of their underlings, because they are there to lead and teach others how to lead.

Some people are there as stepping stones.
Some people are there to give you the progress and the push you need.
Some people are deem worthless in your life, but are fun to be around with.
Make your choice.
Stand your ground.
Choose the people that would change your life for the better.
Because winning ain't everything.
It's the only thing.

I rest my case.

It can be a meaning, literally or physically.
For this context, it's literally.

Well, how fast can you really go?
That's not the question actually.
The question is, how fast do you want to go? 

Trickling like water in a lazy stream?
A mad gush of tornado, billowing at speeds that could make Ferraris blush in embarrassment?
Or just, going along with the wind, trotting as carefree as a horse with no care in the world?

For me, what I do want to do is actually be in the lead.
No doubt, winning isn't everything.
Being first isn't too.
But my goal, is not of common mindset.
I set my goals according to my standard of myself.
People should do that, instead of actually setting standards against other people.
What use, does pitting yourself against others get, if you know you are the biggest enemy of yourself? 

Know the enemy, and half the battle is won.
But the thing is, do you really know yourself?
Putting up a facade is easy.
But deceiving yourself into believing that the facade is real, that's difficult.
And that's when you start to not know yourself.
So, all in all, it's difficult to even know what you actually are, but even more difficult when you start to change.
Be it in a good way or in a bad way.

Sometimes, what you say may not be what you want to do.
It all boils down to whatever you think and feel.
Words are insignificant, in the land of thoughts.
Dreams are more wonderful, in that land.
That's where you get to realize your dreams, and understand yourself better.

& this ain't getting nowhere, so I shall stop here.
Bed time.
Heh.

It's not easy to be in someone elses' shoes.
It's not easy to understand the pain they're in.
But what's easy, is to not give any problems back.
I mean, it's common sense.
If you're the one in trouble, honestly, would you want anymore headaches?
Being sensible, is hard to be, at the wrong times.
Problems arises, the first thing you do, is to get advice.
Or worst still, you sit in the corner, hoping in the pits of your heart, that someone will care and ask you what's wrong.
Yes, best friends will do that, they'll know when thing goes wrong and you need help.
What if, they aren't there?
They are people too, and they have their own commitments to commit to.
In the end, you still have to count on yourself.
Just think.
Take a second/minute, to pause and ponder.
Reflect, is that what you're gonna do or say?
It takes a few words to break someone's heart, a few actions to mend it back, and a lifetime to remove the scar.
Just, think.

Inevitable, you'll come across problems of your own.
And, being the weak human beings that we are, we obviously want the best for ourselves.
But is it hurting your conscience, that you're doing unscrupulous things, for the benefit of yourself and the disadvantage of others?
Yes, people you dislike, you want things to happen to them.
But think.
What if, they actually hold you in high regard, so much so that they want to compete with you and 'triumph' over you.
And in that competitive atmosphere, something somewhere went wrong and you started hating that person and vice versa.
Yes, just a spark can lead to a fire.
But will that fire be a good one, the one that brings warmth to someone when he's cold, or will that fire topple buildings and create catastrophes?

No matter how bad someone is, he/she is still the same species as you.
We all started as homosapiens.
There wasn't any racial discrimination, no inequalities, no nothing.
Just, fights/wars to dominate.
But that's just our nature.

And, to be in our nature, there would be someplace that's the starting point.
The sensible ones would think that peace is great, rivalry is wrong.
But, if you're the one that things that rivalry is great and peace is not, then you're not wrong either.

In this world, there ain't any right nor wrong.
It's whether your conscience allows you to do it, or not.
Moral values.
Upbringing.
What you hold in your heart, as the right thing.
That's what is important.

Like a memory out of last summer,
There wouldn't be any ending either.

Mmhh!
It's been a long long time since I came to this place.
The feeling, is rather nostalgic.
It's like, seeing someone when he/she was a baby, and then you leave, and come back 20 years later to find out everything again.
Gathering new info, to replace the old.
Literally.

Well, there was a time when I was avidly posting everyday.
And, during that period of time, time was virtually not an issue.
But now, I'm fighting time.
Maybe everyone is, but I don't give two hoots.
Time, humans greatest adversary.
Looking back, I'd give everything to right all the wrongs.
But, then again, if I didn't had any wrongs, I would take failure much harder than I would now.

Everyone has misgivings, be it on items, people, feelings.
Not everyone realize that misgivings are just part of an opinion.
When you would learn to change it, is yet another question.
When you would learn to accept it, is the reason to keep going, to find out the answers.
When you would learn to dictate it, that's when you control everything.

Anyway, this post is rather random, I don't really know what I'm typing at the moment.
It's all a, mish-mash of feelings that comes together and lumps up.
Boiling from deep within, it just spurts out like a molten volcano.
My brains are doing the functioning, whilst my fingers are getting the job done, of emitting all the emotions.

O'well, good times are the ones that you're the most happy about.
It's pretty much common sense, yes?
I feel, strangely happy, yet unhappy.
What an ironic sentence.
Mehhhhhh!

I'd preserve my moral rights and dignity,
over everything.

ends thisisveryrandom.butilovetimeslikethese.exe

Like wounded soldiers,
You broke me into pieces.

Sup.
Hello.
Ni hao.
Sup. :D

I don't have anything to say now.
Because my mind's blank.
But things that are coming out now, are pretty dumb.
It's only once in 10 blue moons that I am this way.
So laugh at me all you want..

Mmhh, anyway...
Just a short update about my life.
It's pretty good now.
Heh.
I think.
Cause it's the damn holidays! 

Anyway, I'm lazy to write anymore so eat some dust and go with the flow! 

If my life was played from a video recorder,
I think all you would see are blanks.
Cause I'm awesome like that.

ends maplesea.exe

Yeah! 
Exams are fucking over, but that doesn't mean I won't be who I am. 
That didn't make sense yes? 
Read on. 

So, I was waiting for the train at JE interchange. 
As you all SP students know, it's always crowded at 6pm. 
And as usual, I'm waiting for the faggot train to arrive. 
And I was behind two Chinese ladies, whom were talking. 
Then suddenly, I noticed a foul stench. 
And automatically, I looked behind. 
There was this Indian lady standing behind me. 
And FYI, she's still beside me now.
I might need a breathing aid soon. 
Anyway, carrying on... 
The train arrived and everyone was jostling to get in. 
And so was I. 
That Indian dip-shit pushed her way to my front and was already at the entrance of the train. 
I felt so pissed, cause I don't like people pushing or shoving me.
So, I leaned on her bag, to add some weight on it to keep her from walking further. 
I don't need a seat that badly, not as desperate as her. 
The 'weight on the bag' thing took place for like 4 seconds. 
And thus, the train was officially packed. 
She turned around and gave me a stare. 
And, since exams were over, I'm free. 
And being free, I can afford to go to the police station for racist remarks. 
If she reports to them, that is. 
Anyway, I went up to her since she's staring and said, "Don't stare at me, I know I'm Chinese and my skin is fairer than you. Oh and you stink." 

I feel so bad-ass at that time. 
Mmhh. 
And the look on her face, priceless. 
Nonetheless, she barked. 
But, I already stuffed my ears with my earpiece. 
So, too bad for this fat Indian bitch. 
No seat, ridiculed, and being a loser in a packed train. 
Oh wait, I shouldn't even call 'it' Indian. 

It's a bangalah whore! 
:) 

Okay, rant over. 
I feel better than best. 
Heh. 

Ps, I'm a free man now.
For 4 weeks that is. 
Still can't get over the racist mood. 
Feels damn good! 
:) 

Hahaha! The loser just alighted anyway. 
Disgusting piece of animal. 
Oh and I noticed, she doesn't have a ring. 
Hahaha! 
No husband. 
Have to stand. 
Smell like shit. 
What more to expect? 

Dayum, I'm gooooood! 
:D 

Bye~



This was written in the train. 
:/ 
I feel bad now..  

I'm at a lost for words.
Normally, I would type everything out to get the stuff out of my chest.
And by typing it out, it would mean a lot of shit.
But now, I'm just blank.
Empty.
I'm just closing my eyes, typing as my brain starts churning words out for me.
It just totally stinks to feel this way.
Now I know and understand why everything turns out this way.
At first I'm just, disbelieving.
I don't believe that this is happening.
I still am normal, what I usually do and stuff like that.
It just stinks to see someone really struggling, and saying words from his heart.
And you're unable to do anything about it.
Heartfelt words, are the most heartwarming and heart rendering.
You've done much for me.
Yet I can't even do a simple thing for you.

I don't think I can accept the day, where you'll leave us and go to another dimension.
I would wanna go along with you.
Even though I don't really talk to you.
I try to adapt.
I try to listen.
I try to give respect.
I look up to you.
I look into your eyes when you talk.
You open your mouth, I immediately put down my phone and listen.
I act like I'm watching TV, reading newspapers, eating, but in fact I'm listening.
You just don't know how much you've impacted my life.

It just stinks, to see you muttering words that causes discomfort to me.
I know, death, it's taboo to talk about it.
I also don't like it.

Photos, shouldn't be kept around.
It shouldn't be even looked upon.
Even though there might be times of happiness in the photo itself.
You might be going through a rough patch and would wanna go back into the past.
It might also mean that someone you're looking at, might be a figment of your past.
Somewhere in your heart, swimming and crying out to you.
It'll just cause more heartbreak to you, to reminiscence about better times and just, letting the tears flow. 

What hurts most, is looking at your loved one, seeing how they struggle, daily basis, so many problems popping out, going through the roughest patch in their lives, and nothing you can do about it.
It hurts, to know the truth about everything.
It hurts, to basically know.
It hurts, to feel this way, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
It hurts, to see someone you actually look up to, acting a way that you didn't think he/she would.
A 2 headed snake.
Acting all nice and sweet in front of you, and once behind, biting and poisoning us. 
I don't know if it's the truth.
I don't know if anyone's speaking the truth right now, honestly.
Since everyone's been keeping everything out from my radar.
I think it's good in a way, if it continues.
So I would be pretty much oblivious to everything.
And I wouldn't know so much.
And when the time comes to let go, it'll be easier.

Why the fuck does it have to come, right now?
And when I ask, in the past, you always deny or just ask me to ask someone else.
And then I hear the sad, ugly truth from the most important link.
Everything has to come crashing down at some point.
I'll stand by you, even if the last person goes away.
I'll be that last person.
Always standing beside you.
Unyielding.
Forever.
I promise and swear with all my worth as a human being that I could give.
When no one trusts you, when everyone spites you, when everyone does bad things to you.
I swear, I'll be there.
To pick you up.
And defend you.
Even if it cost me my life.

You're the best thing that ever happened, in my life.
You started me.
And, I would very much wanna end it with you.
In a peaceful manner.
Calm and all.
Please, do not let go.
Hang on.

I really want to give you a huge huge hug.
To tell you everything's alright.
But I can't bring myself to do it.
Fuck myself man.
-.-
FMM.

A Message by George Carlin:

 The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings
 but shorter tempers, wider Freeways ,but narrower
 viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but
 less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but
 less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but
 less wellness.

 We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
 little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
 tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

 We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk
 too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

 We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years
 to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and
 back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We
 conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things,
 but not better things.

 We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the
 atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
 more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We
build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
 than ever, but we communicate less and less.

 These are the times of
 fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep
 profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes
 but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of
 quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands,
overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet,
 to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
 nothing in the stockroom. A time when te chnology can bring this
 letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this
 insight, or to just hit delete...

 Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
 going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
 because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

 Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
 the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a
cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones,
but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it
 comes from deep inside of you.

 Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person
 will not be there again.

 Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the
precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of
breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


This letter is fucking awesome.
Read it in someone's blog.
It actually means something to me.
Another person, in this case, George Carlin, gained spiritual wisdom on the human world, now.
The words aren't big.
The words are very easy to understand.
But the meaning is profound.
The whole story flows, so smoothly.
It's very very nice! 
(Y)

G'nights! :D

Remember the times, where you used to think monsters lurk in your closet?
Pretending to be Superman by donning a cloak, which would most likely be your towel?
Swimming in the bathtub, dreaming about the wide ocean?
Wearing your parent's clothes, and thinking you're a superstar?
Looking at the adults, and dreaming that you wanna be like them some day?

Yes, I do.

Monsters.
They scare the shit out of me last time.
I wouldn't dare to look under my bed, even when my mom dragged me and pushed me under to "hide".
I would shut my eyes, thinking that some monster is staring directly into my face.
I would imagine, a weird demonic creature, with a fuzzy hair like, shadow.
Black, with red and green eyes.
With horns.

Yes, I believed that there were monsters under.
So much so that I didn't dare to look under my bed, during the night.
My belief, in monsters, brought me to tears, at times.

& then, one day, I actually looked.
In actuality, there wasn't anything down there.
It was all part of my imagination.
Yes, I was a kid last time.
Young at heart and mind.
I didn't dare look.
Because I believed.

And, by donning a "cloak", I imagined myself flying all over Singapore.
Rescuing damsels in distress, save people from burning houses, etc.
I had wild imaginations.
Those out of the blue ones, those random ones, those depicting real action sequence from the cartoons.
It was all very true.
And I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Belief.
That you could fly.
And in that, imaginations can take you wherever you want.
Put that imagination down into reality.
And you'll see a whole new dimension opening up to you.

But, most people are only able to dream.
Dream with their eyes closed.
At night, on their bed.
They are like a locked gate.
With many things inhibiting them from opening it.
Opening their beliefs, dreams, imaginations.
It's only when you open everything, then does the small things feel significant.

Inhibitions.
Hindering your every movement.
Stopping you from achieving the things that you want.
It's hard to get it all off.
But, once you get it off, you'll find that the things you want to achieve, has become a lot of times easier.
Yes.

& I leave you with this...

Free your mind.
Occupy your heart.
Set your brain.
And do it.